How Friends Can Let Us Down In Love

Hey friend, 

Do you have friends that will let you down? I do. Stay with me here because this may not be what you’re thinking. I have an incredible woman in my life, which sounds counter-intuitive. But she did. This morning, she let me down, and I couldn’t love her more for it. Let me explain in a manner that will, hopefully, do her justice because she is a true treasure, and I hope you find someone like her. (Also, a side note: I hope that you and I both become her.)

“I’ve been praying a release of vanity over you.” At first glance, one might say, ouch, okay, rude! But I know her, and I know her heart. So, my spirit was quickly intrigued. “What is it Lord?” I asked as my eyes quickly filled with tears. “What else do you want to strip me of? What more can you take?” I did my best to quiet my mind, my spirit, and still my body. He disciplines those that he loves, and I know that. If he is disciplining me, I know that it comes from a place of love. He is by no means like the parent who raised me and was quick to lay hands on my frail body in anger without explanation, guidance, or reassurance. He is not the one to leave us drowning in the ocean, so he certainly won’t leave us bobbing along out in the water during a tropical cyclone. I was prepared to let go of anything he might say, but it wasn’t at all what I expected. I initially thought, “Is it my hair? Nails? Lashes? Massages? Is it a relationship? Tell me, Lord! What is it?”

So I did the only thing I knew to do. I listened. I prayed. I read my bible. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I asked him to show me my reflection not according to the mirror or society but according to his word. In my one-year bible, in today’s reading, I found it. I found my reflection, I found guidance, my spirit was refreshed and renewed, my vision restored, and I thank God for humbling and loving me enough to gently call me out on my vanity. In Acts 9:1-25, Saul is threatening to murder the disciples of the Lord. As he marches his determined little butt down the Damascus road, he encounters something I’m certain he didn’t have on his travel itinerary, planner, calendar, notes, reminders, or to-do list for the day. 

He encountered the Lord in a way that radically changed the direction of his life, and with that, all of his plans became futile. I imagined myself meeting Jesus on that road today, wide-eyed yet unable to see as all of my plans blew away with the winds, incapable of chasing them down. Like Saul, I would likely fall to the ground blind. Which, honestly, in a lot of ways I have lately. In verse 5, Saul says, “Who are you, Lord? Then the Lord said, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads'” (Acts 9:5, NKJV). Huh? I wanted to pull out my Google translator and hit translate “kick against the goads” to English. So, instead, I did the next best thing and asked my buddy Google. And there, it all came together. It is futile. When my friend said “Vanity,” I quickly googled the definition. I know what it means in the general sense, but I didn’t want to miss a thing. And it was the third definition that screamed at me. Vanity; worthlessness, pointlessness, or futility. I dug a little deeper, so I looked up “Vain.” Vain; not yielding the desired outcome; fruitless. And that resonated, and it resonated deeply. 

According to GotQuestions.org, “The conversion of Saul is quite significant as it was the turning point in his life. Paul later wrote nearly half of the books of the New Testament. Jesus took control of Paul and let him know his rebellion against God was a losing battle. Paul’s actions were as senseless as an ox kicking “against the goads.” Paul had passion and sincerity in his fight against Christianity, but he was not heading in the direction God wanted him to go. Jesus was going to goad (“direct” or “steer”) Paul in the right direction.” Aren’t we so lucky that he will gently nudge us when we are falling too far behind, or detoured? He directs our steps, and for that I am grateful.

In verse 6, Saul responds, “So he, trembling and astonished, said, ‘Lord, what do You want me to do? Then the Lord said to him, ‘Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do” (Acts 9:6, NKJV). Great, I thought. Not only have I become Jonah in the belly of the whale refusing to go to a certain people, but now, I am also like Saul, blind. But he does that. He tells his people when they are not going in the right direction. This is a losing battle, resisting is vanity, it is vain, it is futile. And I am so grateful to my beautiful friend for lovingly praying vanity off in advance, before telling me so, to help prepare me for this moment. 

In Acts 9, we learn that Saul was blinded for three days, but in God’s love and goodness, he had prepared a man to restore his vision. In verse 10, we find that man. “Now there was a certain disciple at Damascus named Ananias; and to him the Lord said in a vision, ‘Ananias.’ And he said, ‘Here I am, Lord'” (Acts 9:10, NKJV). Understandably so, Ananias hesitated at what the Lord asked him to do next, just as my dear friend did. “Don’t shoot the messenger kinda thing,” she followed up sweetly. And just as Ananias went in obedience to lay hands on Saul so that his sight might be restored, she did the same for me, albeit virtually and by text. Verse 18 tells us, “Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once; and he arose and was baptized” (Acts 9:18, NKJV).

So, how did she let me down, you might wonder. Great question, glad you asked!

When the Jews plotted to kill Saul, it was the disciples that let him down. “Then the disciples took him by night and let him down through the wall in a large basket” (Acts 9:25, NKJV). God not only used her to restore my vision but also to let me down as a means of escape. 

All in all, I hope I become the friend that lets you down and restores your vision. So, are you acting like Saul, marching your booty around doing your own thing right along with me? 

Let’s be obedient now, ya? 

Love, 

iK

P.S. T.B. You, my friend, are more precious than Gold. Thank you for being my Ananias, and thank you for letting me down.